Understanding too many principles, yet still unable to live this life well.
In the morning, I had no work today and got up late. It was almost 11:00 when I got up.
Recently, on a certain day, the second child got two last places in learning. In second grade math, they scored 93 and made 12 mistakes in Chinese, coming in second to last with 7 mistakes.
I might have expressed some thoughts that indirectly criticized her mother's educational measures.
So today I have to take responsibility for tutoring the child for a while. I will also handle the cooking tasks.
While cooking, I thought about how to optimize things. I looked back and saw the second child still playing while doing the test. Lack of focus. Not serious, and similar admonishments about lack of concentration have been too frequent and ineffective. They don’t listen; even when they do, it doesn’t last long. I also don’t want to simply repeat reminders.
Suddenly, a light bulb went off; I realized that choice is greater than effort. I used to think this only applied to significant matters, but at this moment, I understood.
I told the child that choice is greater than effort. The child's mother shushed me, thinking I was making some unrealistic statement again. It sounded good, just like many paid knowledge platforms, like Dedao, which get people fired up, but when returning to reality, it’s still the same old reality.
I ignored her and continued, saying that choice is about how you choose to do things right now: whether to focus on doing homework or to play while learning. It may seem like a lot of effort, but it’s very laborious; ten minutes of homework takes half an hour to finish. In the future, when you play games, you also have to do other things, like watching videos, simultaneously. As long as it’s something that makes you happy, you must do it alongside other things; never focus solely on one thing.
After saying that, I continued cooking. I looked back and saw the second child starting to write seriously. I went to take a call, and when I returned, I saw the child shaking their head. I thought they were playing again, so I found a stick, ready to hit their hand. When I got closer, I realized they were still seriously doing their homework, so I casually placed the stick on the shoe cabinet behind them. I continued cooking.
While cooking, I was thinking and recalling examples, and I remembered the ancient texts about hermit crabs and earthworms. It’s also about the results of choice and effort. The ancient poem about hermit crabs describes them as despised, while earthworms are seen as impressive.
Note
The earthworm has no claws or teeth, yet its muscles and bones are strong. It feeds on dirt above and drinks from the yellow spring below, with a single-minded focus. The crab has six legs and two claws; it has no place to rely on except for the holes of snakes and eels, showing a restless mind.
During dinner, I asked the second child who is stronger, the hermit crab or the earthworm. The child said, of course, the hermit crab. I told them how both lived according to the ancient texts, and they thought the hermit crab was a parasite. However, they still found crabs to be good-looking. Haha. As long as they understand the principle, that’s enough.
Choice is about making small choices that gradually lead to significant choices; without accumulating small steps, one cannot reach a thousand miles. When teaching young children, if emotions are set aside and thinking is used instead, it might have some effect. Of course, I won’t give up on using force, haha. Consider it a small step in practice.